From Get in Shape Girl to Mindful Movement
How movement, mindfulness, recovery, and learning to sit still changed my life.
1985.
Maybe mindfulness isn’t about becoming a different person after all.
Maybe it’s finally learning how to stay with yourself.
Through movement.
Through breath.
Through stillness.
Through all the darlin’ and not-so-darlin’ parts.
And maybe that’s enough.
Little eight-year-old Tonya sitting on Santa’s lap asking for a Get in Shape Girl workout set.
Yep. That was me.
Blonde-brown hair with bangs constantly being brushed out of my eyes while bashfully telling Santa:
“I want the one with the weights.”
The little plastic weights you filled with H2O.
And let me tell you… I thought I was something.
I can still picture myself now in pink sweatpants and leg warmers, shoving a cassette tape into my pink jam box and jumping around my room fully convinced I looked exactly like Jane Fonda.
Back then, movement felt playful.
Fun.
Powerful.
Confident.
But somewhere along the way… movement slowly stopped becoming playful and started becoming personal.
The Beginning of Body Awareness
Fast forward to my teenage years.
This was the era of Clueless, and trust me, I was the girl who would’ve absolutely panicked if a dodgeball flew toward my face.
The idea of stepping foot into the weight room at my local YMCA?
Absolutely not.
Those sweaty gym guys grunting and throwing weights around felt terrifying to me.
That was… until Mariah Carey’s Heartbreaker video entered my life.
Suddenly I wanted the crop tops.
The confidence.
The body.
And if I’m being honest, that was probably the beginning of me believing my body needed fixing.
Especially after my first—and only—high school boyfriend pointed out my lower stomach pooch.
Funny how one little comment can echo through someone for years.
When Movement Became Punishment
I became determined to stay small.
Especially entering pregnancy after hearing stories from friends whose bodies changed, stretched, softened, and shifted in ways that scared me at the time.
That’s when the earliest signs of ED started creeping in.
ED… my eating disorder.
The full story of “Drop Dead Ed” will come another time, darlin’.
But today isn’t about that part of the story.
Today is about movement.
Mindfulness.
And learning the difference between caring for my body… and punishing it.
Because for years, I believed more was always better.
Longer workouts.
More cardio.
More sweat.
More punishment.
I even became a cycle instructor just so I could ride longer.
Sometimes I’d teach classes, hop off the bike, and head straight to the treadmill for even more cardio.
Hours of movement.
And the wild thing is…
I truly believed I was being healthy.
But looking back now?
I was running from something.
I just wasn’t mindful enough yet to understand what it was.
The Shift
Movement always did help my mental health.
I’ll never deny that.
But somewhere along the way, I crossed the line from moving with my body… to fighting against it.
And if you would’ve told the old me—the cardio queen who couldn’t sit still—that one day I’d become a meditation guide or willingly practice yoga…
I would’ve told you that shit wouldn’t do a thing for me.
Seriously.
That was my mindset until recovery.
Until healing.
Until barre3.
Holy shit… barre3 changed my life.
Not because it made me smaller.
Not because it “fixed” me.
But because it taught me how to finally be mindful inside my body.
For the first time, movement became connected to:
breath
grounding
stretching
slowing down
strength without punishment
presence without shame
And honestly?
Sitting still used to feel harder than any workout ever had.
But over time, I realized something:
My body wasn’t asking to be pushed.
It was begging to feel safe.
Finding My Voice
That experience opened the door for me to explore yoga, Pilates, meditation, and mindfulness more deeply.
Meditation entered my life during eating disorder recovery when I finally started learning how to sit with myself…
with my thoughts,
my fears,
my grief,
my anxiety,
and all the not-so-darlin’ parts I spent years trying to outrun.
And somewhere in all of that stillness…
I found my voice.
Literally.
I remember listening back to my first meditation recordings and cringing because all I could hear was my southern accent.
I truly didn’t think anyone would take me seriously.
Now here I am… doing the damn thing.
And what’s funny is people constantly tell me my voice is soothing.
It took me time to believe them.
But I think the turning point came when I realized:
When I listened back, I could hear my mom in my voice.
And somehow… that healed something in me.
What Movement Looks Like Now
These days, movement looks very different.
Now movement is about feeling good from within.
It’s about becoming stronger in my mind—not just my body.
Sometimes mindfulness in movement means slowing down during weight training and truly focusing on the muscles I’m working.
Sometimes it’s blowing off steam with a quick cardio session.
Sometimes it’s yoga.
Sometimes it’s stretching.
Sometimes it’s walking my dog Knox.
And sometimes—let’s be honest—it’s vacuuming my floors because while I love hair on my head, I do not love it stuck to my feet.
Real life, darlin’.
Meditation, though?
That has become non-negotiable for me.
Every morning.
Sometimes afternoons too.
Sometimes evenings.
It just depends on what life is asking from me that day.
And that’s what mindfulness has truly taught me:
Not every day has to look the same to still count.
Some days we sprint.
Some days we stretch.
Some days we rest.
Some days we simply breathe through survival mode.
It’s all movement.
It’s all care.
Vibe & Flow: A Quick Movement Meditation
That’s exactly why I created Vibe & Flow.
Feeling stuck in your body or buzzing in your mind?
This playful guided movement meditation helps you shake off stress, release tension, and reset your energy — no yoga mat or perfection required.
✨ roll
✨ sway
✨ shake
✨ stretch
✨ breathe
✨ release
Mantra:
“I move through life — not to fix myself, but to free myself.”
Come sit with me, darlin’.
LOCAL EVENT • LOUISVILLE
Gentle Flow + “Sunday Scaries” Meditation
I’m so excited to share an upcoming collaboration with Ellie Potts through Liora Wellness Lou Upcoming Events
Sunday, June 7 • 6:15–7:45 PM at Hot Yoga Louisville
This evening was created for the nervous system, darlin’.
Ellie will guide a grounding gentle flow to help release tension and soften the body…
and I’ll lead a calming guided meditation to help quiet racing thoughts and ease the anxiety that can creep in before a new week begins.
✨ Gentle movement
✨ Breathwork
✨ Meditation
✨ Nervous system support
✨ A softer way into the week
You don’t need to have it all figured out.
You already have everything you need.
Maybe mindfulness isn’t about becoming a different person after all.
Maybe it’s finally learning how to stay with yourself.
Through movement.
Through breath.
Through stillness.
Through all the darlin’ and not-so-darlin’ parts.
And maybe that’s enough.